Tuesday, March 02, 2010
First and foremost, the daffodils are sending up little spears of green in the front flowerbed. Hope springs anew with them every year, but this year is a little different. A lot different. I made it all the way through February without the icy breath of depression blowing down the back of my neck. I think this is the first time on over ten years I have made it through the lowest month of the year happy and sane. Most of this new lease on life is being on my own, no longer living with the pain and fear that chained me down for so long. Two years ago in February I hit bottom. And thanks be to God, I bounced. He must have given me wings, because this year I am flying....
A big part of my happiness is my Michael. He's been my rock for the last four and a half months, since I met him. And by Valentine's Day, he'd become the man I can lean on when I am tired and sick... and not feel the fear. So this has been a happy month. In spite of winter, my spring has finally come. The children love him already, and have been perfectly happy to make him a part of what is becoming a big, happy family - if a little outsized and weird these days. It's strange to have them go off to visit their Papa, and yet be happy to come home to me, and to have Dad be here, but not here as he has his own apartment upstairs now... and to have Michael here some evenings part of life and bedtimes and play with the kids and me. But despite the strangeness, it's working. Weird and wonderful.
Today, the long day... LOL, well, I did get back to it, eventually. Started out early, with Michael coming to give me a ride to the Child Impact Class, which was in Laconia. Two hours of listening to two people tell the class to focus on your children and care for them. After that, headed home, again thank you Michael :) The afternoon passed fairly quietly.. bill paying, phone calls, e-mails. The exciting part was finally getting in touch with my NHEP counselor, and getting confirmation that car repairs would be reimbursed up to $500, and that I can go ahead and enroll is classes. Yippee!
Two phone calls later, I am more ambivalent about the results of that phone call. The mechanic diagnosed my car over the phone as having a broken transmission. Either replace it, or go without reverse until I can replace the car. So I'll be parking carefully for the foreseeable future! I've got a little set aside, and I'll keep working at it. The upside is that I'll probably (proposal for funding has been submitted!) be taking classes for two certificate programs, one in Quickbooks, and the other in MS Office. So I'm finally getting back to some schooling. So good to be here!
To finish off my day, dropped stuff off at the library, set up a schedule for more volunteer work there this week, and picked up the girls from homework club. Then off to the market, pick up Johann at daycare, and home again to start dinner. Once the kids were fed, I sat down here to write this... they are watching a movie, so I got a few minutes peace.
I have gotten so much support from so many people recently, and I am heart-happy with this unexpected support. I may not yet have a job, and the car is a bump in the road, but I know things will get better, and with the kids whole and healthy, and Michael taking care of me, I am blessed and joyful at these signs of spring.
Posted by Cedar at 6:44 PM